Monday, September 14, 2009

How did she hold back the Tears?

As I reflect on my childhood, I can not help but wonder just how my mother held her pain inside for so many years. There are times that I feel lonely and miss hearing Nonna's voice. I have to believe that she had times of grief and thoughts of her lost family that almost surely overwhelmed her mind. The longing for her mother and father, the longing for her brother, the loss of her loved ones. Death is hard to accept in most cases, but when someone has lived a long life and dies in old age, we can at least acknowledge that their time has come. To move on with her life and never express outward emotions about her loss, Nonna possessed an inner strength that I am not familiar with. Yes, God carries us all when we call on him, but in retrospect, I have much feelings of loss and sadness for my mother, almost as if I want to suffer for her. This may be why she kept her thoughts to herself for so long, and was so forgiving of others. Nonna knew what many of us struggle with in our lives, she knew that to not forgive evil, to not try to be your best everyday and smile upon the world, would only lead to a less than fulfilling life. True lessons we can all learn from.
John Bannister

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